DECISION
Before deciding to fly to Estonia, I experienced vivid dreams about being in the country for at least a year. In those dreams, I felt a profound sense of nervousness that I believed would eventually pass. The Baltic Sea frequently appeared, advancing towards the land, seemingly intent on hunting and drowning me while my friends remained closer to the water and having fun without seeing the destruction. As far as I can observe, my dreams often use the sea to symbolize problematic situations. It remains unclear whether these dreams influenced my decision to travel to Estonia or if they served as a forecast.  Additionally, the sea or ocean is commonly known to represent the subconscious. 
I was with a very close friend of mine, when we landed at Tallinn Airport in Estonia, our so-called 'friend' failed to pick us up as promised, for reasons he did not explain, leaving us homeless in Tallinn at 5 A.M. My luggage wheel was broken, so we could not walk far. This unexpected turn of events mirrored the troubled feelings in my dreams as soon as we landed. We searched for a place to stay. And rented a charming, historical hotel room with a courtyard for three days. 
What Are You Looking at?
Snail in Estonia.
Cookies

After finding a place to stay, we went to a market and bought some jellybeans. While tasting the different flavors of jellybeans, we decided to go back to the same market and buy water. Suddenly, a person approached us and accused us of stealing the 2-euro jellybeans. 
Visual Representation of The Taste of the Tomato

The image colors represent the taste of the tomatoes, which was peculiar to me. Since the earth in Estonia is not very fertile, vegetables and fruits had a slightly chemical taste. Coming from the Mediterranean, this was very unusual for me.
We decided to buy a notebook and write down the topic "FIND." In the courtyard, we both wrote and read our stories to each other, trying to understand the core of our experience.
Scarecrow
Estonian Open Air Museum

What the Scarecrow Finds,  23.08.23
"The concept that a person seeks most is the conception of a home. Mostly he finds it while looking at the walls that are facing the streets. The second idea a person searches for is love. He finds this idea by getting lost in some stranger’s eyes. A person, or it would be more accurate to say an individual, the third idea he looks for the most is the self. And he finds it in mirrors. Years later, one very early in the morning, the seeker wakes up. He finds his mirror broken and his house on fire while lying in an empty bed—without fully understanding what has been lost."
 Ceyda Tüze
Haunted House #1
Suddenly, our so-called "friend," whom I will refer to as "Tomato" from now on, found a much cheaper place for us to stay. From the beginning of the journey, we had barely seen the Tomato. Although I am generally very grateful, stepping into this house was overwhelming due to its extreme filth, making it impossible to sit anywhere. Additionally, I experienced numerous nightmares where people screamed in my face, appearing with masks to conceal their identities. 
Haunted House #2
During the Soviet occupation, many Estonians were deported, imprisoned, or repressed, resulting in the presence of Soviet-era houses that people are often hesitant to rent. These houses are typically more affordable, and the one we stayed in was among them. I learned about this context only after experiencing the disturbing dreams.
I believe souls can be trapped, though this may not be universally true. My dreams were filled with intense screams, featuring unfamiliar faces and masks shouting directly at me. Each night offered a new journey.
Things may appear differently than expected. This photo might be a tree trunk or my hand in a black glove. While the true nature of the image remains ambiguous, we can be certain of that it exists.
Road Friend
I lost a "tomato" ,
Road Friend #2
And gained a true friend, learning that you truly discover who your friends are when you are in need. I learned this by doing, as with everything else.
Before Estonia's current geography took shape, much of the region was submerged underwater. As mentioned earlier, the sea or ocean is often seen as a representation of the subconscious. To me, the entire country feels like a reflection of this inner world.
TENSION

We decided to write down the topic "TENSION."
"In a town where everything is pink, purple, and green, there lived a group of people whose numbers never exceeded the size of God's two hands. They live in happiness, anger, and defeat, just like all of us—like you, like me. Every year, on one specific night, just before sending all the captains in town on an expedition, the whole country plays a game together. They stretch a rope, with one of God's hands holding one end and the other hand holding the other end. When the rope’s tension reaches its peak, the strongest one keeps up and the others collapse. No matter which side wins, they all laugh together; that one night each year, all together. They laugh together because, you know... Sometimes it happens, if their loved ones don’t return from the sea; they will remember them with their laughter.''
Ceyda Tüze
In a Peaceful Way of War

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